| i hate you..no thats not true. i strongly dislike the way you think and do things. perhaps one day you'll grow up. then apologize for putting me through hell. |
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| how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? |
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| stop looking in the mirror, you wont find what you're looking for.
litter the little things you do across the roadways..and hope that someone picks up the scent of you.
shift the earth and the sky and break the memory into a million pieces, then tell me in detail how painful it was to left them go.
take your cold finger tips and place them beneath reason to make sense of what is not really there.
- i thought of you today.
"it was a holy moment"
-it's just the rest that follow that make you realize that your given only the "one" moment. |
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| I lost something..it may come back it may not. I've grown cold in ways that i didnt think was possible. Im sick. Only for now though. Perhaps i'll wake up and be the same person, but this is highly unlikely. We never go to sleep and wake up the same. I'll miss her, but this isnt the time or the place for her. Justification..no not really. Realization i do think so. Living in a land of blee's and blah's. Throw up your hands but dont throw in the towel. I've never been here before and im still trying to find out if i like it or not. You say to your parents while in a heated argument "im not a baby anymore". It's weird when you find truth in that..you almost make yourself take a back seat view to what you have been saying all along. Flustered thoughts..uneasy reasoning. It all makes sense though. I know why and how I got here..so I guess if i saw it coming i didnt do much to stop the outcome. Maybe in some kind of fucked up way I wanted to be here. Test myself against my own theories. You reinvent yourself every so often. Here I am again doing it again. Im out of control in the most controled way. You still know me if you ever knew me..just a few minor/major changes. You'll get over it though. |
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| these damn live journals... i never write what i really want to say in these things. in fear that someone i know will read it. basically because those are the only people that read this crap that i write. so it's not really a journal for me, it has become some kind of joke. i stand and clap my hands to those who actually write real emotions that put yourself out there to the general public. i know it must feel pretty damn good to just get something down in writing. i know of the relief, but only a taste of it. so i guess my only saviour is my mind and all the things that are locked up there for safe keeping to never see the light of day. they will forever drown in the darkness of my mind for only me to either enjoy or maybe shed a tear over. my loss. |
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